Pee Pants

Seriously how many locks are necessary for your average work trouser?? and how old am I referring to my pants/slacks as trousers?? 

Trousers are an item of clothing worn from the waist to the ankles, covering both legs separately (rather than with cloth extending across both legs as in robes, skirts, and dresses). They are also called pants in the United States, Canada and elsewhere, such as Ireland. 

Just to get into my pants I need to unlatch 3 separate hooks, then unbutton the inside button and then unzip the zipper and only after all of that am I finally able to pull my trousers down to pee. This might not seem like such a problem but I sit at my desk and think hmmm I need to go pee but I'm in the middle of typing this document and I'm almost done...just need to finish this up....ok, done. Trot down the hallway and by this time I really have to pee but there I stand almost peeing my pants because I have to get into Fort Knox before I can go. Who is responsible for this? where do I file complaints. Until I find out I'm forced to allow an extra 5 minutes of pee time to every bathroom visit. Thanks work pants.