Thursday, July 24, 2014

How Many Dishes Do You Have??

To make this product necessary??

340+ people thought they needed to spend $19.99 on a mat to make standing there doing dishes less fatiguing. Is that even a word? What if all these years I'm not even doing dishes the right way so that's why I'm not all exhausted afterwards? Even more concerning is that this rug normally retails for $119!!! 

Free Beauty Products

Yup that's right, FREE beauty products. Who doesn't love that? Ok so depending on which one you want follow the link underneath and sign up for the membership to receive your free gift. I choose the summer brights and it was pretty good. The nail polish was a good quality and had good pigment. It also came with a cuticle treatment as well as this amazing lip gloss. Anyways, all you need to do is cancel before the 25th of the month (email '' or call 877-651-3292) and they will cancel your membership with no drama or big process and you get to keep the products completely free. Just make sure you choose which one you want now before you click on the link because if you follow the summer brights link and then decide you want the summer nights one instead it won't let you change it at the check out. 

Summer Brights Box 

Summer Brights

Limited Edition Nautical by Nature Welcome Box 

Nautical by Nature

Summer Nights Welcome Box 


I left the rest of my products I received at home but here is one of the polishes and the lip gloss.

10 minute Dollar Store Pantry Make Over

If you have $10 and 10 minutes you can revamp your pantry. All you need is to go to the 99 cent only store (Dollar General and all those other ones might work but for me, I found the best selection at the 99 cent store and also Walmart. So buy as many plastic containers as you need. I bought different sizes for different products but you do it however you like. Then come home and fill them up. Go here to find your labels and print them out...for free :)
Awesome Pantry Labels
Then cut them out and I just used scotch tape to stick them on. You could also print these out onto some label or sticky paper for a more permanent effect.

Here is my BEFORE:


I know this isn't exactly a super WOW type thing but considering the time and cost put into it I was pretty pleased with the out come. 

Pee Pants

Seriously how many locks are necessary for your average work trouser?? and how old am I referring to my pants/slacks as trousers?? 

Trousers are an item of clothing worn from the waist to the ankles, covering both legs separately (rather than with cloth extending across both legs as in robesskirts, and dresses). They are also called pants in the United States, Canada and elsewhere, such as Ireland. 

Just to get into my pants I need to unlatch 3 separate hooks, then unbutton the inside button and then unzip the zipper and only after all of that am I finally able to pull my trousers down to pee. This might not seem like such a problem but I sit at my desk and think hmmm I need to go pee but I'm in the middle of typing this document and I'm almost done...just need to finish this up....ok, done. Trot down the hallway and by this time I really have to pee but there I stand almost peeing my pants because I have to get into Fort Knox before I can go. Who is responsible for this? where do I file complaints. Until I find out I'm forced to allow an extra 5 minutes of pee time to every bathroom visit. Thanks work pants. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Demon Kitties

I think I have a touch of A.D.D. The other day I was looking at my Facebook news feed when I came across a picture of kitties which then lead me to a picture of Bengal kitties....

Welllll obviously by this point I decided I needed one so I googled local breeders. Apparently these little loves go for around $2,800!!! They are cute and all but really... $2,800??
So I thought I bet there's someone selling some on Craigslist for cheaper and boy were they ever. They still want $400 for a cat but that's way better than a couple grand. Anyways I found a litter that had both the rosetted bengal kittens as well as a  rosetted snow. I thought ohhh that sounds fancy...Maybe it looks like a white tiger....ORRRRR MAYBE IT LOOKS LIKE A DEMON KITTY. 

How scary are their eyes?? Can you imagine paying $400 for this cat to be watching you sleep every night? No thank you. 

It's Cool, I'll just Get Dressed At Work

Monday, July 14, 2014

Never Send a Man To Do A Women's Job

So my husband tried to be nice and help me make lunches last night. So here I am sitting at my desk trying to be sneaky shoving my lunch into my face at the wee hour of 11:00 am and I came across an odd texture in my sandwich...
He left the cheese on the paper....and that my friends is why you never send a man to do a women's job.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Periods Don't Have Glitter On Them

Because That's Completely Normal

So I was on the elevator yesterday and noticed this lady had what appeared to be a hammer in her hand which I found to be slightly out of place.

Did she need to hang something at work and her company did not have a hammer? or the building maintenance people would not allow her to borrow one? Maybe it's not a hammer and I'm jumping the gun but what else resembles a hammer? What did she need to hang that was so important that she set a hammer out at home and remembered to bring it all the way to work...furthermore WHY am I so concerned. I have real white people problems like having too many pillows on my couch to know the proper placement to arrange them so they look the best. I should be focusing on important stuff like that but no I can't take my eyes off this killer. Why is she hiding it under her sweater? Why not just throw it in her bag? Why is the sweater draped so over it in a way that conceals it like she is hiding the fact that she is going to murder someone (or is possibly coming from one....we all know a boss or two who could use a good murdering). I don't see blood. Maybe it's under the sweater. Ooooppp!!! The sweater shifted!!

I wonder if she noticed. Well I happened to notice that I was in fact correct it is a hammer. Why do I know what the end of a hammer looks like so well? Too many years of dating thugs I suppose. Well now that I have seen her weapon and I've captured it on my cellular device what if she turns around and beats me to death with it. I know your thinking I'm crazy but hello have you watched the news lately? This week a guy stomped his 17 month old to death while the mom stood by and watched, another lady was charged with murder because she made her daughter sit on the car on the drive home because her swimsuit was wet so there are definitely crazy, psycho people out there just waiting to go off. So anyways, luckily for me I spotted my car and jumped in feeling like I had just narrowly dodged death and that my friends is what it's like to be in my brain for five whole minutes.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Embarrassingly Awesome

Woooooaaahhh hold the phone this is embarrassing and heck no would I like to share this on Facebook with my friends...and in-laws...jez what are they trying to get me fired?? and only 66% huh? I mean I didn't think he'd score 100 but I would have guessed more around 85 or so....'s only fair I try to turn the tables and answer the questions for the wife test on my husbands behalf. I tried to answer them truthfully and that's the last time that will happen...really??? 49%???

I don't think I'm perfect but wow, apparently we have two choices either step up our husband/wife game or just sweep this under the rug and vow to stop playing stupid Facebook quizzes. I'm sure you can guess which way we will be voting in this election.

The Groups I Belong To Which I would Like To Not Belong To

So I am a fan and member of Facebook and the many groups out there for various things especially all the mommy groups. They are a very valuable source of information for everything you could think to ever ask....including this.
I don't even know what to say to this except...

I don't even have answers for this girl or any clue on which direction to point her however I do know the direction I need to go and that is out of this group. 

This Actually Works?

Wow all these years that I've laid in bed after a night of aggressive cocktails wishing there was someone who could just bring me some food...and a coffee and all I had to do was place an ad on CL. It's so simple and yet I've watched too many Lifetime movies to ever do something like this. I wonder if there is an actual phobia of being afraid of getting killed by someone via craigslist.

Thanatophobia (disambiguation)

Thanatophobia is the fear of death, more specifically being dead or dying. It is a very complicated type of phobia.
hahaha very complicated phobia huh? you don't say. ok so since I'm obviously an online doctor I think the fear of being killed from someone on craigslist is probably called thanatophobiaviacraigslist.or TVCL for short and I clearly suffer from it. 

Thursday, July 3, 2014

M.A.C. Memorial Service Today at 11:00 am

So here we are unpacking away...unpacking...unpacking...oh look how good we're doing...ooppp almost done...only a few boxes left...wooo house looks sleeping when all of a sudden.... my make up?? When we left CA I packed a little zip lock bag of essentials as I knew living quarters would be tight but I packed away in a moving box a plastic storage bin 3 tiers deep packed full of years of make up. I know what you're saying...relax it's just make no!

Easily 20 different colors of lipliners and eyeliners, three times as many eyeshadows all MAC or NARS with a few other amazing brands,. You may ask who needs 65 eyeshadows? This girl! Ok yes I won't use purple every day but from time to time I like to have that option. and blue eyeshadow? It's not just blue there's teal, aqua, sky blue, indigo and really on any given day I might just need all of those options.

It was also filled with other things like highlighters, primers, tweezers, eyelash glue, eyelashes, 30,000 lip glosses and random things I only use every now and then like glitters...all of it packed away in a box to be later retrieved.

How? What? Where? First I was in denial. Surely it was around the Well then it must be in the attic in one of the "Christmas" So we have now gone through every room, every box and it's no where to be found. Just gone. How is this possible? We had a walk through of the house after the move and there was nothing left in there. Our storage unit is empty, cleared out completely, the house is completely unpacked. How did we lose this box? I can't even put a dollar amount on the items in here. I should have had it insured. Who insures make up?
and to top it off not only was all my make up in here but ma weave was too! Hey there goes $150 I'll never get back.

So I've gone through all the stages of grieving and now I'm ready to hold the memorial and then hopefully move onto acceptance and the ability to start slowly building up again.

28 Day Meal Plan Challenge - Part 2 - Who am I kidding?

Well that was a good waste of time. I'm already over it and I'm only on like day 5. First I forgot a zillion ingredients so I really haven't been able to stick to the meal plan like I had imagined. Second, my husbands face every time I mention what is for dinner and even while I'm cooking it looks like this...
As you can imagine that's super encouraging. Yet still I carried on like it was my job to get this family eating right. For breakfast I did scrambled eggs with cottage cheese, tomatoes and spinach and put them into pitas. One piece of advice don't make these ahead they get all creepy soggy like wet slick pita it's nasty. I also tried whole grain waffles with strawberries and I made little parfaits with yogurt, go lean crunch, almonds and fruit.

(Post butter/pre-strawberries)

One night for dinner I was making the roasted asparagus chicken with penne thing and my husband kept asking where's the sauce? You're not going to use a sauce? But what's going on the pasta? Why are you making that pasta with no sauce? But like what are you going to put on it? were going to eat it dry?? Dude get out of my kitchen! Basically I cooked asparagus in a pan with olive oil and threw in some frozen garlic (love this product) then cooked the pasta and tossed it in some butter, salt & pepper then in a baking dish combined the pasta, asparagus and grilled chicken (cut up into pieces) and threw on some cheese and broiled it for a few and viola!!! It was AMAZING!! Even stinky face had multiple helpings and said how good it was. He admitted when I was making it he thought it sounded gross. Great, thanks honey. BTW, the baby yells "Honey"!!! all the time now mimicking me. Its too cute. ok so other than that this week we did grilled chicken with rice and salad with strawberries and balsamic dressing, we did pork chops and rice and veggies, turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. Today in the crockpot I threw in frozen chicken a can of corn, crushed tomatoes, black beans and a packet of taco seasoning. Going to serve it over rice and add some lettuce and tomatoes and call it a taco bowl.

For dessert I did the creamsicle cake. One box cake mix (I chose yellow), can of orange crush and whipped topping for the frosting. This was much better on day 2 after it had time to refrigerate. It's not amazing but it does the trick for craving your sweet tooth while not getting super fatty.
I know...I should take pix of food for a living. This really is such a beautiful shot.

Anywho that's where I'm at in this journey of mine. At least I tried.

More updates cause I know you care...

Trying infused waters. We've done lemon/cucumber and this one is raspberry/lime. Pretty flavorful. I don't miss soda at all said no one ever. I just try to pretend I'm at the spa or something.

Ok so for the meals this week yesterday I threw diced potatoes in the crockpot with frozen chicken breast and frozen turkey cajun sausage links with 2 cups chicken broth and set on low all day. It was surprisingly delicious. The real winner however was this taco/burrito-esque bowl. I put the following into the crockpot:
2 frozen chicken breasts
can of corn
can of black beans
can of crushed or maybe it was diced tomatoes
Packet of taco seasoning
Then when I got home I quickly made instant rice and put that in a bowl and spooned this mixture on top and then topped it off with chopped up lettuce, avocado and lowfat sour cream. It was amazing!!! Rave reviews!