Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Let me shove a falcon heart in ur vagina

Current mood:Really??
Let me shove a falcon heart in your vagina? - m4w - 27 (West Village)


Date: 2010-01-14, 4:29PM EST

Reply To This Post pers-5sd4v-1552843005@craigslist.org


I want to try a legendary sex move called "The Polish Falcon," and I need a woman who is willing to experience it with me. We will travel to Poland and capture a falcon. We'll take it to my place (a tasteful loft), put it in a cage, and start fucking. As I'm about to ejaculate I will reach into the falcon's chest, pull out its still-beating heart and shove the heart into your vagina, then climax inside you. Also I will take you out for a magnificent brunch.

Let's make some memories.

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PostingID: 1552843005

Umm….where to begin? Im just gonna let you all take a moment to go ahead and reread this posting again….1st question, what other “legendary sex moves” are there like this that I don’t know about? Is there some sort of handbook I can reference? 2nd, how exactly does one “capture” a live falcon? I tried to google it but shit didn’t come up except how to capture a falcon…with your camera! 3rd, Im pretty sure people who are down to fuck some weirdo they met on craigslist don’t care if they fuck in a tasteful loft or in a dirty alley. 4th, most guys can barely put together the words to let the girl know they are about to “ejaculate” much less be able to reach over, undo the cage and reach into a falcons chest to pull out its heart!!! Ahahaha um can someone make this into a porn for me? Just so I can see how it would play out. So after he does all this he still has his super erection and can cum??? 5th, I like how he goes back and fourth between proper language like climax and vagina but balances it out with things like ”fucking” and ripping hearts out. Finally we come to the 6th most amazing part of this post….the magnificent brunch….I mean, really, how else would you end that experience? Hey thanks for letting me put that falcon heart in your vag. You might want to take some antibiotics or something and lay low for a couple of days.

So…speaking of weird vag stuff, there is a website that has vulva pendants because nothing says classy like a flapping vagina necklace. Dude, whatever happened to the good ol’ fashioned pearl necklace??

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