Saturday, March 27, 2010

I Wanna Finger Blast UR Heart

I have a new pick up line for you and 70% of the time it works all the time and though it came straight from a 14 yr old, I’ve road tested it and it does in fact work. Walk up to someone and as serious as can be shout HEY! and when you have their attention say I wanna finger blast your heart and take your 2 finger God given hand gun and point it at their heart and blast it, then for dramatic effect blow the smoke off the end of your finger tips and wait……maybe even holster your “gun”…..YES the cheese factor is insanely high but I guarantee the person will at least laugh and you can then tell them you know its cheesy but you were just trying to think of something clever to start talking to them. I’m telling you the 1st time I heard it I was so caught off guard but I laughed my ass off and I really couldn’t be mad at a dude for at least coming up with something different.

Sooo….I’ve had this picture sitting in my living room since I moved in so today I got the brilliant idea to hang it up and I got my fancy level out and got my nail and started to LIGHTLY hammer it in and I was 2 taps in (yes literally I was tapping lightly!) and a whole chunk of the wall just broke and cracked so now what do I do? See this is when I need a man.

1 comment:

  1. Two part answer to question #1. When I was your age, I'd take sex anyway I could get it, as often as I could get it. In my 40's, I'd rather have amazing sex with someone I really connect with, even if it's not very often. Why you ask? Because lousy sex doesn't satisfy my need for that heart connection, and if we have that heart connection, the sex is always amazing! It's like when I realized why men always complain about women drivers on the road. It's because most men just want to get to their destination, while women just want to enjoy the ride. The same is true in mediocre sex. In amazing sex, it's not a race to the finish line, it's an untraveled road to a new frontier of exploration, and pleasure! Take the scenic route!

    I can show you how to fix the wall, but next time, use a stick-on hanger! LOL! I'll never trust you with a hammer again!

    Here's a cocktail that my friends and I were drinking today on the frisbee golf course. Fresh strawberries, blue berries and a banana, blended with Don Viejo Margarita mix, and an extra cup of Don Viejo to boot, poured over ice. The banana completely masks the taste of alcohol! I got so snockered that while everyone else was playing frisbee golf, I was playing tree pong! But it was fun!!!!!