Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Not So Happy Meal
*Please read this whole blog in a whisper so she doesn’t hear us. Seriously whenever I talk about her I cover her ears so she can’t hear me talk shit. Imagine my horror when I opened my Happy Meal the other day and found this creepy office killer doll. Her eyes open and shut and she may be small but I’m quite confident that she can, and will eventually kill someone here in the office. It’s my plan to be really nice to her so when she does she skips me. 80’s killer doll movies have instilled fear in me so great I can’t throw her away or even put her away so she’s just going to kick it on my desk until I pass her on to the new girl who takes my position. I feel like she’s watching me right now as I write this. I feel like McDonalds gave me a chain letter. A really bad one where you open it up and you have to obey or you will die in 7 days. Fuck you McDonalds, your time will come.
I like to order a tall cup of disappointment
I went to Starbucks so I could order a cup of disappointment. The lady took her sweet ass time making an incorrect drink. I understand that they don’t make that much which is perplexing since my cup of coffee costs $5.20 but I’m a big fan of if you’re going to do something do it right because there are a lot of unstable people out there just waiting for you to fuck up their latte so they can snap. So she calls out my name and then looks at the cup and is all ohh I made it wrong….sorry and hands it to me. Well fuck if I had another 20 minutes to kill maybe I could wait around for Barista of the year to make me a new one but no time!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads
Below is my list of the Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads. If YOUR ad does not contain any of the following phrases, please contact me immediately!
10) "I live life to the fullest!"
(Is this really the most profound philosophical statement you can come up with? Dig a little deeper, Nietzsche.)
9) "Loves to laugh" or "Fun-loving"
(Alright! A person who enjoys laughter and fun. What a rare individual; I must meet her at once. Just once I'd like to see "loves to sob uncontrollably for days on end.")
8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger!"
(Sure you do. And if I just did a couple more sit-ups, I could still make the Giants starting lineup. Is self-delusion great or what?)
7) "I'm a down to earth..."
(If I see this phrase one more time, I'll... I'll... I don't know WHAT I'll do! I might be forced to actually turn off my computer and go interact with people in the REAL world. Okay, I probably wouldn't do anything THAT drastic. But you get the idea.)
6) "I can go from jeans to a cocktail dress in 10 minutes!"
(You must be very proud. I can't believe they haven't made this an Olympic event yet.)
5) "I'm a intelegent..."
(If you can't SPELL intelligent... do you see where I'm going with this? Class? Anyone?)
4) "I'm a typical (insert astrological sign here)."
(Astrology? Yeah, it's a science. I think they use it at NASA. I don't even know where to begin here. If you're looking for some insight into the nature of my character, don't ask me what my sign is. Talk to the Easter Bunny, he has the real inside track on me.)
3) "I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed!"
(Trust me, I will.)
2) "Looking for THE ONE" or "Looking for my Soulmate"
(Really? These are the most fresh and original lines you can come up with? Your mother and I had such high hopes for you. Oh well, there's always trade school.)
And the Number One Most Overused Phrase In A Personal Ad is...
1) "Don't worry, I plan to loose [sic] the weight real soon."
(Ok, it's probably just me, but why am I still worried?)
Put them all together, and the end result usually looks something like this....
"Fun-loving, down-to-earth woman with 5 kids from 5 different fathers seeks a intelegint guy who loves to laugh. Must be in shape! I'm temporarily 50 pounds overweight, but don't worry, I plan to loose the weight right after I finish these fries! Must look like Brad Pitt and be no older than 35! I'm 49 but I look MUCH younger! I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! I'm a Libra so I live life to the fullest! I get along best with Geminis who have six-figure incomes! Must have a big heart and a bigger house, cuz the landlord just kicked us out!"
(Well, as long you have realistic expectations.)
10) "I live life to the fullest!"
(Is this really the most profound philosophical statement you can come up with? Dig a little deeper, Nietzsche.)
9) "Loves to laugh" or "Fun-loving"
(Alright! A person who enjoys laughter and fun. What a rare individual; I must meet her at once. Just once I'd like to see "loves to sob uncontrollably for days on end.")
8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger!"
(Sure you do. And if I just did a couple more sit-ups, I could still make the Giants starting lineup. Is self-delusion great or what?)
7) "I'm a down to earth..."
(If I see this phrase one more time, I'll... I'll... I don't know WHAT I'll do! I might be forced to actually turn off my computer and go interact with people in the REAL world. Okay, I probably wouldn't do anything THAT drastic. But you get the idea.)
6) "I can go from jeans to a cocktail dress in 10 minutes!"
(You must be very proud. I can't believe they haven't made this an Olympic event yet.)
5) "I'm a intelegent..."
(If you can't SPELL intelligent... do you see where I'm going with this? Class? Anyone?)
4) "I'm a typical (insert astrological sign here)."
(Astrology? Yeah, it's a science. I think they use it at NASA. I don't even know where to begin here. If you're looking for some insight into the nature of my character, don't ask me what my sign is. Talk to the Easter Bunny, he has the real inside track on me.)
3) "I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed!"
(Trust me, I will.)
2) "Looking for THE ONE" or "Looking for my Soulmate"
(Really? These are the most fresh and original lines you can come up with? Your mother and I had such high hopes for you. Oh well, there's always trade school.)
And the Number One Most Overused Phrase In A Personal Ad is...
1) "Don't worry, I plan to loose [sic] the weight real soon."
(Ok, it's probably just me, but why am I still worried?)
Put them all together, and the end result usually looks something like this....
"Fun-loving, down-to-earth woman with 5 kids from 5 different fathers seeks a intelegint guy who loves to laugh. Must be in shape! I'm temporarily 50 pounds overweight, but don't worry, I plan to loose the weight right after I finish these fries! Must look like Brad Pitt and be no older than 35! I'm 49 but I look MUCH younger! I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! I'm a Libra so I live life to the fullest! I get along best with Geminis who have six-figure incomes! Must have a big heart and a bigger house, cuz the landlord just kicked us out!"
(Well, as long you have realistic expectations.)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The O.C. v. The 909
Oh oh oh oh oh OH oh. Damn those catchy BEP’s songs. So I had to drive my son’s friend home this morning so I’m trying to make small talk with him and asked about his girlfriend. Apparently they have been together 16 months…hahaha so precious. 16 months huh? Not that anyone’s counting or anything. It would be funny to hear a grown man say that. I’d have to throw a rock at his head afterwards but it would still be funny to sincerely hear it.
So my pet peeve of the day… All those too cool people who think they’re so clever and fresh with their 909 jokes. Get over it. Orange County people are just as trashy but in a different way. Don’t act like all your Affliction, fake hair/boobs and coke habit are so much more above raised trucks, SRH tank tops and star tattoos? And second, the people who are almost always talking shit aren’t even originally from Orange County!! You can’t live here three years and act like you are qualified to judge. The other thing is usually I let them babble on and on and then I let them know I’m a former 9’er and they get all apologetic…no not you I meant like you know how “the others” are. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sticking up for them or saying they are cool, I’m just saying…people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. In honor of that I have provided the following:
You know you’re From Orange County When...
You make $60,000 and you’re still considered as the Lower-Middle Class.
You know what In-N-Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
You know that if you drive one mile in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code.
909- Are you kidding me?
310- To Ghetto...
You've bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
You have thought that 20 years of construction on 22 freeway is enough.
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"
You have bypassed a mattress, a folding chair, and a dryer on the freeway while on your way to work.
You shop at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods and/or Henry's.
You eat a different ethnic food at every meal.
You think $1200 a month rent is way too good to be true. (You know this!)
You still go to the beach in December.
Going to Disneyland can be a weekly routine.
You know what "sigalert", "PCH", "CHOC", "OCTFCU" and "the five" mean.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
You see the original Batmobile and Kobe Bryant in the same intersection.
Your body looks more plastic than the Diet Coke bottle you're drinking out of.
You can go get carnitas, a chicken teriyaki rice bowl, greek gyro, and burgers all in one spot!
You wear a sweater, jeans and boots when the temp drops below 65 degrees.
You know people that live in Costa Mesa but say they live in Newport Beach or they live in Anaheim but say they live in Anaheim Hills. (ahaha)
You get offended at the new name for the Angels.
You know you're from Orange County when you pay hundreds of dollars every month to let a small group of people tell you what shade of beige your house can be and what two types of flowers you can plant in your yard.
Driving from Irvine to Anaheim in an hour is considered making good time! (So true!!)
You know you're from the Inland Empire IF...
1. Every one of your friends, including yourself, has a drinking problem.
2. You're pissed that you live in the 909 but your cell is 951.
3. Everyone is in a band.
4. Statutory rape laws don’t exist here.
5. You hook up with someone on Friday night and Saturday morning you have 10 missed calls from people that already heard about it.
6. You've known more than half your friends since junior high, or elementary school
7. You use terms like "Mo Val", "San Berdoo", and "Victimville" to refer to places
8. When you go to parties you bring your own beer
and guard it with your life
9. A party isn't a party until the cops come and someone gets knocked out
10. Every Jetta you see has a roxy sticker on the back
11. The who’s going to drive to get more booze conversation is decided by who has the fewest number of D.U.I.'s
12. You try to act as white trash as possible but your parents live in million dollar houses and drive hummers (there’s million dollar houses in the I.E.?)
13. You know at least 10 people with a tattoo of their last name, a star, or a flower
14. At least half the guys you see are wearing black Active socks
15. When all of your girlfriends go off to college and all your guy friends stay home and work construction
16. You walk into a party and you've hooked up with at least half the people there
17. Even the people you haven’t seen since high school still manage to find out what and who you are doing
18. You walk into Vons or Rite Aid and see at least 5 people you know
19. You have an Uncle Jager.
20. You participate in the cycle of: A) Seeing old people at parties and then B) Being the old people at parties.
21. "Your mom" is the most common phrase in your vocabulary.
22. You walk to your truck at Victoria gardens and mistaking put your key in one of the 50 black lifted F-250 with Famous stickers on them...
23. You still miss Metro and Gotham.
24. You go to Victoria gardens on Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night because there isn’t much else to do...
25. You know what a Bro is, and what a Bro Ho is.
26. Being called a Bro Ho isn’t a good thing yet all of them are excited to be called one.
27. When Monday night bowling is the highlight of your week.
28. You go to the Branding Iron on Wednesday nights.
29. You know what people do at "the Top of Haven”
30. Your whole life is DRAMA.
31. You can’t start a day without Starbucks. (How is this just a 909 thing?)
32. You run into your ex's ALL the time.
33. When you think Fontana is ghetto. (fontucky)
34. When you have been to a Quakes game on Friday night.
35. You were disappointed to learn that Hemet is no longer the Meth capital of the world
36. u know what emo is... but you're too "hardcore"
37. You have gone offroading off the 71
39. You have been to a Rufio concert. (Ha, just went to my first one)
40. You know someone who works at Active, Hollister or Abercrombie.
41. u know someone who went through the "bleaching" the hair phase, with spikes
42. You have crossed a raging flood . . . in an intersection
43. Kids love their cars more than they love their parents
44. You know that snoop dogg lives 10 min away and where his house is.
45. You know that snoop dogg's mom lives 10 min away and where her house is.
46. You know at least 10 people that had to be evacuated from their homes because of the wildfires.
47. You take the 10 or 60 to get somewhere that is 5 min away, but it takes 45 minutes to get there
48. all ur old friends have kids.. and u know their baby daddy.
49. At least 5 of your friends has their lip pierced or have pluggs
50. Lifted trucks have west coast choppers, Tapout, skin industries, fox or Famous sticker
51. u eat dennys or albertos after a hard night of partyin'!!!!
52. u know someone with a 50cc pit bike
53. You know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows Travis barker (hahaha so true!)
54. Every radio station fades into Spanish at least once during your commute
So my pet peeve of the day… All those too cool people who think they’re so clever and fresh with their 909 jokes. Get over it. Orange County people are just as trashy but in a different way. Don’t act like all your Affliction, fake hair/boobs and coke habit are so much more above raised trucks, SRH tank tops and star tattoos? And second, the people who are almost always talking shit aren’t even originally from Orange County!! You can’t live here three years and act like you are qualified to judge. The other thing is usually I let them babble on and on and then I let them know I’m a former 9’er and they get all apologetic…no not you I meant like you know how “the others” are. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sticking up for them or saying they are cool, I’m just saying…people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. In honor of that I have provided the following:
You know you’re From Orange County When...
You make $60,000 and you’re still considered as the Lower-Middle Class.
You know what In-N-Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
You know that if you drive one mile in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code.
909- Are you kidding me?
310- To Ghetto...
You've bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
You have thought that 20 years of construction on 22 freeway is enough.
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"
You have bypassed a mattress, a folding chair, and a dryer on the freeway while on your way to work.
You shop at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods and/or Henry's.
You eat a different ethnic food at every meal.
You think $1200 a month rent is way too good to be true. (You know this!)
You still go to the beach in December.
Going to Disneyland can be a weekly routine.
You know what "sigalert", "PCH", "CHOC", "OCTFCU" and "the five" mean.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
You see the original Batmobile and Kobe Bryant in the same intersection.
Your body looks more plastic than the Diet Coke bottle you're drinking out of.
You can go get carnitas, a chicken teriyaki rice bowl, greek gyro, and burgers all in one spot!
You wear a sweater, jeans and boots when the temp drops below 65 degrees.
You know people that live in Costa Mesa but say they live in Newport Beach or they live in Anaheim but say they live in Anaheim Hills. (ahaha)
You get offended at the new name for the Angels.
You know you're from Orange County when you pay hundreds of dollars every month to let a small group of people tell you what shade of beige your house can be and what two types of flowers you can plant in your yard.
Driving from Irvine to Anaheim in an hour is considered making good time! (So true!!)
You know you're from the Inland Empire IF...
1. Every one of your friends, including yourself, has a drinking problem.
2. You're pissed that you live in the 909 but your cell is 951.
3. Everyone is in a band.
4. Statutory rape laws don’t exist here.
5. You hook up with someone on Friday night and Saturday morning you have 10 missed calls from people that already heard about it.
6. You've known more than half your friends since junior high, or elementary school
7. You use terms like "Mo Val", "San Berdoo", and "Victimville" to refer to places
8. When you go to parties you bring your own beer
and guard it with your life
9. A party isn't a party until the cops come and someone gets knocked out
10. Every Jetta you see has a roxy sticker on the back
11. The who’s going to drive to get more booze conversation is decided by who has the fewest number of D.U.I.'s
12. You try to act as white trash as possible but your parents live in million dollar houses and drive hummers (there’s million dollar houses in the I.E.?)
13. You know at least 10 people with a tattoo of their last name, a star, or a flower
14. At least half the guys you see are wearing black Active socks
15. When all of your girlfriends go off to college and all your guy friends stay home and work construction
16. You walk into a party and you've hooked up with at least half the people there
17. Even the people you haven’t seen since high school still manage to find out what and who you are doing
18. You walk into Vons or Rite Aid and see at least 5 people you know
19. You have an Uncle Jager.
20. You participate in the cycle of: A) Seeing old people at parties and then B) Being the old people at parties.
21. "Your mom" is the most common phrase in your vocabulary.
22. You walk to your truck at Victoria gardens and mistaking put your key in one of the 50 black lifted F-250 with Famous stickers on them...
23. You still miss Metro and Gotham.
24. You go to Victoria gardens on Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night because there isn’t much else to do...
25. You know what a Bro is, and what a Bro Ho is.
26. Being called a Bro Ho isn’t a good thing yet all of them are excited to be called one.
27. When Monday night bowling is the highlight of your week.
28. You go to the Branding Iron on Wednesday nights.
29. You know what people do at "the Top of Haven”
30. Your whole life is DRAMA.
31. You can’t start a day without Starbucks. (How is this just a 909 thing?)
32. You run into your ex's ALL the time.
33. When you think Fontana is ghetto. (fontucky)
34. When you have been to a Quakes game on Friday night.
35. You were disappointed to learn that Hemet is no longer the Meth capital of the world
36. u know what emo is... but you're too "hardcore"
37. You have gone offroading off the 71
39. You have been to a Rufio concert. (Ha, just went to my first one)
40. You know someone who works at Active, Hollister or Abercrombie.
41. u know someone who went through the "bleaching" the hair phase, with spikes
42. You have crossed a raging flood . . . in an intersection
43. Kids love their cars more than they love their parents
44. You know that snoop dogg lives 10 min away and where his house is.
45. You know that snoop dogg's mom lives 10 min away and where her house is.
46. You know at least 10 people that had to be evacuated from their homes because of the wildfires.
47. You take the 10 or 60 to get somewhere that is 5 min away, but it takes 45 minutes to get there
48. all ur old friends have kids.. and u know their baby daddy.
49. At least 5 of your friends has their lip pierced or have pluggs
50. Lifted trucks have west coast choppers, Tapout, skin industries, fox or Famous sticker
51. u eat dennys or albertos after a hard night of partyin'!!!!
52. u know someone with a 50cc pit bike
53. You know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows Travis barker (hahaha so true!)
54. Every radio station fades into Spanish at least once during your commute
Monday, July 26, 2010
I Love Big Fat Sausages
UUh…late night TV provides me with more questions than answers. First up those ads that encourage you to pick up the phone and talk to other singles in your area…what is that? Am I dumb and not getting that that some sort of escort type thing or are there really people sitting at home (guys & girls) who just want to talk to other people on the phone? I seriously can’t imagine that is the case so if someone can fill me in that would be super.
The next one is the vaginal odor commercials. Ladies I’m not a doctor but I do own a nurse costume which makes me qualified enough to say this: If you smell like fish pie something is wrong. You have some sort of infection or disease. Normal vag does not smell to the point of needing a special cleanser. Seriously if it’s that potent you need to go to a doctor not to Wal-Mart for scented wash.
Speaking of gross vaginas doesn’t this turkey’s face remind you of when Britney Spears got caught wearing no panties? Just sayin….
Oh and I know this isn’t the right time but I heard my most favorite line ever last week. “Eat it up n’ beat it up” I know that’s not what you want to think about after that last paragraph but I just thought it summed up my preferences nicely and wanted to share.
And finally…the booty shape ups. The next time I’m going out I’m going to march on down to Bed, Bath & Beyond first and buy a pair of these to see if it makes me look bootylicious. I wonder what it feels like if someone were to grab your ass? What if it’s like memory foam and leaves a hand indention? Maybe it makes it feel all tight and firm and then when the guys gets you home he can be doubly disappointed when he takes off your fake booty and your padded bra. Uhhh…this is so not what I order??
I went roller skating with my son this weekend and I got hit on by an old ass man. I get it though because everyone else there was a preteen so I probably was actually the next closest to his age. Anyways he tried this move which seems to be increasing in popularity. Instead of acting like they want your number for a date or whatever they try to act like somehow you could have a business relationship. Can I get your card? I’m not hitting on you or trying to get your number I just think we could probably do business together? Mmmm really??? Cause I work with banks and you work with cars and you just got through telling me how your ex wife took all your money and your business went to shit after that and the economy and blah blah blah and now 20 mins later you think we can do business together? Ya ok…call me.
While I was writing this a little kid came into the office selling candy. He is 12 yrs old! And from Compton! WTF? 12 yr olds should have chores, yes, jobs? No. This is seriously how this kid is spending his summer so if any of your kids are whining about how boring their summers are remind them that they could be commuting from Compton to Irvine to sell overpriced Reese’s.
Lastly, we went to the fair this weekend. If I worked for Jenny Craig AND I worked on a commission based salary I think I could have retired because never in my life have I seen so many obese people. And it’s not just fat fuckers walking around that bother me, the ones that really kill me are the fatties on the scooters or the ones smoking too….you’re so fucking gross!!!! Someone needs to tell you because you obviously don’t listen to your mirror you fat fuck! That shit did not happen overnight and eating deep fried butter or chocolate covered bacon wrapped Oreos or krispy kreme chicken sandwiches is not going to help. I saw one lady literally dropping all the merchandise she had bought because she was so wrapped up in her food. You can say I’m mean or whatever but it’s not ok to be that way. I’m not even speaking from a vain I have to look at you type way either. If are bigger than the vending machine or if you get winded walking up to the food counter you are too fucking fat. You need to stop. The fair is not the place for you. If you decide to go anyways, leave your car at home and walk your chunky self to the fair. Maybe my approach isn’t the kindest but I’m ok with shaming people into being a reasonable weight. And on a lighter note here was my favorite sign from the fair.
Cheers!
The next one is the vaginal odor commercials. Ladies I’m not a doctor but I do own a nurse costume which makes me qualified enough to say this: If you smell like fish pie something is wrong. You have some sort of infection or disease. Normal vag does not smell to the point of needing a special cleanser. Seriously if it’s that potent you need to go to a doctor not to Wal-Mart for scented wash.
Speaking of gross vaginas doesn’t this turkey’s face remind you of when Britney Spears got caught wearing no panties? Just sayin….
Oh and I know this isn’t the right time but I heard my most favorite line ever last week. “Eat it up n’ beat it up” I know that’s not what you want to think about after that last paragraph but I just thought it summed up my preferences nicely and wanted to share.
And finally…the booty shape ups. The next time I’m going out I’m going to march on down to Bed, Bath & Beyond first and buy a pair of these to see if it makes me look bootylicious. I wonder what it feels like if someone were to grab your ass? What if it’s like memory foam and leaves a hand indention? Maybe it makes it feel all tight and firm and then when the guys gets you home he can be doubly disappointed when he takes off your fake booty and your padded bra. Uhhh…this is so not what I order??
I went roller skating with my son this weekend and I got hit on by an old ass man. I get it though because everyone else there was a preteen so I probably was actually the next closest to his age. Anyways he tried this move which seems to be increasing in popularity. Instead of acting like they want your number for a date or whatever they try to act like somehow you could have a business relationship. Can I get your card? I’m not hitting on you or trying to get your number I just think we could probably do business together? Mmmm really??? Cause I work with banks and you work with cars and you just got through telling me how your ex wife took all your money and your business went to shit after that and the economy and blah blah blah and now 20 mins later you think we can do business together? Ya ok…call me.
While I was writing this a little kid came into the office selling candy. He is 12 yrs old! And from Compton! WTF? 12 yr olds should have chores, yes, jobs? No. This is seriously how this kid is spending his summer so if any of your kids are whining about how boring their summers are remind them that they could be commuting from Compton to Irvine to sell overpriced Reese’s.
Lastly, we went to the fair this weekend. If I worked for Jenny Craig AND I worked on a commission based salary I think I could have retired because never in my life have I seen so many obese people. And it’s not just fat fuckers walking around that bother me, the ones that really kill me are the fatties on the scooters or the ones smoking too….you’re so fucking gross!!!! Someone needs to tell you because you obviously don’t listen to your mirror you fat fuck! That shit did not happen overnight and eating deep fried butter or chocolate covered bacon wrapped Oreos or krispy kreme chicken sandwiches is not going to help. I saw one lady literally dropping all the merchandise she had bought because she was so wrapped up in her food. You can say I’m mean or whatever but it’s not ok to be that way. I’m not even speaking from a vain I have to look at you type way either. If are bigger than the vending machine or if you get winded walking up to the food counter you are too fucking fat. You need to stop. The fair is not the place for you. If you decide to go anyways, leave your car at home and walk your chunky self to the fair. Maybe my approach isn’t the kindest but I’m ok with shaming people into being a reasonable weight. And on a lighter note here was my favorite sign from the fair.
Cheers!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Perfume Can't Make You Any Prettier
Take a good look at this...
You know how I know this product doesn't work? Because if this doctor actually created such a product you know damn well she'd use it on herself which clearly judging by the picture provided did not work. In fact, I might go as far as saying it could possibly have the opposite effect. Just sayin...
While were on the topic of beauty here's the Question of the day (Strictly for clinical research :) Do you think having two-toned hair makes you into a slut or do slutty girls just like black and blonde hair?
You know how I know this product doesn't work? Because if this doctor actually created such a product you know damn well she'd use it on herself which clearly judging by the picture provided did not work. In fact, I might go as far as saying it could possibly have the opposite effect. Just sayin...
While were on the topic of beauty here's the Question of the day (Strictly for clinical research :) Do you think having two-toned hair makes you into a slut or do slutty girls just like black and blonde hair?
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