Oatmeal Does Not Belong at McDonalds

What the fuck is oatmeal doing at McDonalds?? I let the wraps go, I let the apples with yogurt dip go, and I let the “grilled chicken” salads go but oatmeal? WTF? Seriously now like 2/3’s of the menu is some wanna be healthy shit? I don’t like it. Yes I realize there are fat fucks in the world that want to blame McDonalds for their weight problems or heart issues and so McDonalds has to do what they can to pretend like they care but this is too much, one day were gonna wake up and McDonalds isn’t even going to sell burger’s anymore!!! Don’t get me wrong, I love oatmeal but that’s not what I’m fucking going to McDonalds for! I want burger’s that don’t mold….ever. I want a bunch of fried batter with a hint of “chicken” swimming in hot mustard sauce not some fake whole grains.

The Not So Happy Meal

*Please read this whole blog in a whisper so she doesn’t hear us. Seriously whenever I talk about her I cover her ears so she can’t hear me talk shit. Imagine my horror when I opened my Happy Meal the other day and found this creepy office killer doll. Her eyes open and shut and she may be small but I’m quite confident that she can, and will eventually kill someone here in the office. It’s my plan to be really nice to her so when she does she skips me. 80’s killer doll movies have instilled fear in me so great I can’t throw her away or even put her away so she’s just going to kick it on my desk until I pass her on to the new girl who takes my position. I feel like she’s watching me right now as I write this. I feel like McDonalds gave me a chain letter. A really bad one where you open it up and you have to obey or you will die in 7 days. Fuck you McDonalds, your time will come.