Did you know there's a holiday more loathsome than Valentine's Day? Mark your calendars: February 13th is Mistress Day. Like, I can't even believe this is a thing, but it is.
Devoted husbands of course need to spend Valentine's Day with their (long-suffering) wives. But what about their neglected mistresses? That's what the day before Valentine's Day is for: the day men can sneak away and pamper their ever-loyal girlfriend-on-the-side. Of course, these girlfriends expect presents to get them through the lonely 14th, and this presents a problem: how do you shop for your mistress without your wife finding out?
That's where SugarSugar comes in. This year, the site is offering a concierge service, just for men who find themselves in this pickle. You can email your concierge with a budget and any gift ideas, and they'll take care of the rest.
Wait--
Do you not have a date for February 13th?
Are you planning on spending Mistress Day....Alone?
You poor thing.
Head to SugarSugar, where you'll find the perfect philandering gentleman/wanton woman to fill your lonely night.
Because no one should have to spend the holidays alone.
Monday, February 6, 2012
I Just Had Sex: The App
Ahhhh, this exists! An app which lets you meticulously track your sexual encounters by GPS location, position, and whether or not you used protection. (Sort of like a real GoodReads for Sex app?)
The worst part, though, is that it lets you see who else in the neighborhood has also just had sex.
No, no, I'm sorry, the worst worst part is the app's name: "I Just Made Love." That is the worst part.
The worst part, though, is that it lets you see who else in the neighborhood has also just had sex.
No, no, I'm sorry, the worst worst part is the app's name: "I Just Made Love." That is the worst part.
20 Questions We Wish We Could Ask On A First Date
1. What's your policy regarding leaving people suddenly and without warning?
2. I'm not saying right away, but eventually down the line, how open would you be to introducing a third party to our sex life?
3. Do you floss?
4. Are you obnoxiously dependent, or are we still going to be able to have our own lives?
5. Are you going to make me wait 6 dates before sleeping with me?
6. Is it okay if we wait like, 6 dates before sleeping together?
7. Do you actually watch Rachel Maddow/Read the NY Times/love this band/go to MoMA in your spare time, or are you just saying that?
8. What were your SAT scores?
9. If we were to date, how often would you expect oral sex? Like, is this a regular thing, or a once in a while treat?
10. How much money do you actually make?
11. If we go home together tonight, I'm not really going to want to cuddle. That cool with you?
12. Are you seeing other people? HOW many other people?
13. You talk to your ex how often?
14. What's your number? (Not your phone number. The other one.) Just give me a ballpark range.
15. Will you be willing to take a backseat to my career? Will you want me to take a backseat to yours?
16. Will you be just as apt to keep the bathroom door closed six months, six years into the relationship, as you are right now?
17. Do you have any plans to gain a ton of weight/lose a ton of weight/take up drugs/change your career/change your religion/change your country of residence, or in any other way drastically alter your life in the next two years?
18. Will you always expect me to pay? (Will you always pay?)
19. Does any part of you right now think that I'm not someone you could be serious about? How attracted/interested in me are you really?
20. Wait, is this a date?
2. I'm not saying right away, but eventually down the line, how open would you be to introducing a third party to our sex life?
3. Do you floss?
4. Are you obnoxiously dependent, or are we still going to be able to have our own lives?
5. Are you going to make me wait 6 dates before sleeping with me?
6. Is it okay if we wait like, 6 dates before sleeping together?
7. Do you actually watch Rachel Maddow/Read the NY Times/love this band/go to MoMA in your spare time, or are you just saying that?
8. What were your SAT scores?
9. If we were to date, how often would you expect oral sex? Like, is this a regular thing, or a once in a while treat?
10. How much money do you actually make?
11. If we go home together tonight, I'm not really going to want to cuddle. That cool with you?
12. Are you seeing other people? HOW many other people?
13. You talk to your ex how often?
14. What's your number? (Not your phone number. The other one.) Just give me a ballpark range.
15. Will you be willing to take a backseat to my career? Will you want me to take a backseat to yours?
16. Will you be just as apt to keep the bathroom door closed six months, six years into the relationship, as you are right now?
17. Do you have any plans to gain a ton of weight/lose a ton of weight/take up drugs/change your career/change your religion/change your country of residence, or in any other way drastically alter your life in the next two years?
18. Will you always expect me to pay? (Will you always pay?)
19. Does any part of you right now think that I'm not someone you could be serious about? How attracted/interested in me are you really?
20. Wait, is this a date?
Walk of Shame Shuttle
bahahah this is freaking brilliant!!
http://jwundersworld.blogspot.com/2012/02/something-worth-paying-for-after-drunk.html
http://jwundersworld.blogspot.com/2012/02/something-worth-paying-for-after-drunk.html
Take that, Sarah McLachlan
more from my fav blog:
http://jwundersworld.blogspot.com/2012/02/take-that-sarah-mclachlan.html
http://jwundersworld.blogspot.com/2012/02/take-that-sarah-mclachlan.html
Easter Awesomeness
Ok so I know usually I try to be funny in my blogging but I saw these Easter ideas and had to share them anyways...
My favorite Easter dessert:
Ingredients
9 hostess twinkies
3 1/2 ozs instant vanilla pudding
3-4 bananas
8 ozs pineapple (crushed)
8 ozs cool whip
3 cups milk
Cut Twinkies in half lengthwise.
2 Arrange in a 9x13-inch pan.
3 Mix pudding with milk and pour over Twinkies.
4 Slice bananas lengthwise and place over pudding.
5 Drain pineapple and place over bananas.
6 Cover with (thawed) Cool Whip.
7 Sprinkle chopped pecans over topping.
8 Enjoy!
and this bed has nothing to do with Easter but it looked super spring time awesome so you get that too.
My favorite Easter dessert:
Ingredients
9 hostess twinkies
3 1/2 ozs instant vanilla pudding
3-4 bananas
8 ozs pineapple (crushed)
8 ozs cool whip
3 cups milk
Cut Twinkies in half lengthwise.
2 Arrange in a 9x13-inch pan.
3 Mix pudding with milk and pour over Twinkies.
4 Slice bananas lengthwise and place over pudding.
5 Drain pineapple and place over bananas.
6 Cover with (thawed) Cool Whip.
7 Sprinkle chopped pecans over topping.
8 Enjoy!
and this bed has nothing to do with Easter but it looked super spring time awesome so you get that too.
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