Monday, July 16, 2012

Chinese Egg Drop Potty Soup

I stumbled across this hotel review in Yelp the other day and couldn't stop laughing.

I'm going to admit something very embarrassing to you.  I hate to crap in public places.  But sometimes it's very necessary, sometimes even an emergency.  When I go number two in a public place, I build a nest.  All my friends know it and they make fun of me for it.  I've got a ritual that I go through.  First, I wipe down the seat in case there's some diarrhea bubble or urine that I can't see.  Then I put down an ass-gasket.  Last, I'll fold a couple of strips of toilet paper in two and lay one on each side on top of the ass-gasket.  It takes me a while to build it up enough for me to be able to sit down.

I'm convinced that people lose money at this casino and instead of taking it out on the buffet like any normal person would in Vegas, people take it out on the restroom.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  There are no security cameras and you can make a freakin' mess and someone has to come clean it up.  That's some people's revenge on the casino for losing money while gambling.  

The restrooms at Morongo are filthy.  The first restroom I went to had stalls with urine and toilet paper strewn about.  It looked like someone had a little ticker tape parade in there.  Then some neanderthals pissed all over the toilet seats.  The toilet paper is cheap and when the toilets flush, it rips the toilet paper to shreds without getting rid of it all so it looks like Chinese egg drop soup in the toilet bowl..  I left that restroom and went to another one that was in the same sad state of affairs  It's gross.

If it wasn't a dire emergency, I would have left Morongo and gone somewhere else.  This review was only of the restrooms.  As for the rest of the place, it's a casino... go check it out.

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