ok since I'm an awesome blog sharer I had to bring this one to you...partly because it's funny and partly because its the truth! You probably want to check out more of her stuff:
ok, so i have this friend who's a little older and he's a fairly nice guy.... he's a fuckin perv, but he's not a bad guy at all. anyhoo, like any old single man with a little money in orange county, he likes to see how young of a woman he can get. (see? perv) and that's fine, like i said, he's single. well.... he usually has pretty good taste. he's been with some fairly beautiful women and so when he told me that he met this 25 year old who's "fuckin hot", i expected for her to be at the very least, pretty.... i've been hearing about this girl for a while now and he really likes chillin with her so i'm happy for him having a good ol' time, getting some young vagina.... then he introduces me to her....
so he walks in with this... girl? and wow!..... she looks like a joke. i was so disappointed. her body was... thin. nothing special about it, kind of lanky, but not bad at all. her face?....
no. like, capital N-O period. normally when i meet new girls that he's dating, i'm all kinds of nice and friendly. they never last too long, but so what? they're pretty. but this one... no. i can't spend time talking to and being nice to ppl who's faces look like bad cartoons. that's not ok. i will not fake approval of a friend's choice in fuck buddies. not gon' happen, neva (in my new new voice).... (damn, i miss that movie, i need to go home and watch that.)... anyway. this was going to become more awkward because i knew that at some point in time, he'd ask me what i thought and i'd be forced to... tell him the mutha fuckin truth!
so she goes to the car and wait for him cuz they're about to leave... it happens. he says "so what do you think? she's fuckin hot right?".... first came the "idk about that" eyebrow raise, immediately followed by "her face is fuckin whack." his response?.."yea, but her body's hot right? everything's real and where it's supposed to be." my response.... "yea, her body's coo'.... u like her right?" in the way to say that that's all that matters. there was a long pause and then he says "well, she walks around the house naked so that helps." and then changes the subject.....
i'm pretty sure i made him feel a little bad. but hey, what r friends for??? if i let him parade around life with clown-faced young ladies, he'd become a fuckin joke and then won't be able to feel good about the fact that he has a younger bitch on his arm.
anyway, i totally think i did the right thing and even though he still likes her, i don't want to be associated with the stank-ness that is her face. ilk.
PS, she seriously looked like the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of oz... but not green.... the skin color is seriously the only difference... all bad
PS (one more time), i kept looking for pics of things whose nose dominated their faces right? right. so i couldn't help but use this.
this, mixed with wicked witch of the west is the face that walked into my life and haunted me so bad that i had to blog about it.