Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I'd like to File for Joint Custody of UR Dick

So my girlfriend broke up with a guy and she was glad to be done with him but then she realized that she was really going to miss the sex. (On a side note we nicknamed this guy coke boy. How anyone who’s nickname is coke boy can be associated with good sex is beyond me. It’s like an oxymoron). She brought up the idea of “friends with benefits" which made me suggested to her that she file for joint custody of the dick. Wouldn’t that be great? I mean really you get to divide up all other assets so why not divide up the P and the V? Obviously, just like real divorce court, whoever is the better at it is the one who could be granted it. If you sucked at fucking during your relationship you most certainly could not try to file for joint custody or even visitation. Chances are your shitty fucking is the whole reason the divorce is being filed in the first place. I think I’m going to fancy myself and Genital Divorce Lawyer from here on out. Hire me.

P.S. If this were real and I had tried to file for joint custody of dicks throughout my travels that I thought at the time were worthwhile, I’d be a deadbeat dick dad, abandoning them, never calling, never showing up when I say I will, pretending like it never happened when I got new better dick family 

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